Right Vs Happy
The long version of this entry's title actually reads: "Doing what is right Vs Doing what makes us happy".
I just came back from a movie with two of my best friends -- EC and SC.
EC's an old schoolmate I've known for over 10 years. He likes to take down the pegs on my shoulders and deflate my ego in his free time. Yet he is the best guy friend I ever knew - his sound advice, broad shoulders (for me to cry on) and moral support have lifted me out of the depths of depression more times than I can count.
SC is my 'elder sister' (tai ka jeh) from a previous company; we've hit it off since the first few months I worked there and shared so much joys & pains of our work there, our loves & heartbreaks and friendships with our colleagues-turned-excolleagues-turned-friends. It's amazing to see how strong bonds form out of undergoing some difficult times and how it bring us closer and dearer to one another.
By a stroke of good timing and lucky coincidence, two of my best friends in the world had the opportunity to meet each other. I'm happy that they did :)
But... I digress...
EC's girlfriend had 2 extra free tickets to the Charity Premiere for the movie 'April Snow' on Saturday, 22nd night and I happened to call him at the right time. It's a Korean movie starring Bae Yong Joon (of 'Winter Sonata' fame) and Son Ye Jin.
In a nutshell, the movie is about a man & a woman whose spouses were having an affair together and got involved in a car crash. The man & woman met at the hospital as strangers, to take care of their unconscious spouses. From the heartbreaking truth of their spouses having the extra-marital affair, the two of them become friends, and eventually became lovers themselves.
The movie got me thinking ~ how many times have we done things that make us happy (like in the case of the movie, starting that affair though they know they themselves or others will get hurt by it eventually) vs doing things that are right and noble (e.g. keeping to their marriage vows though their partners have done them wrong).
I have to admit, I've done the former much much more than the latter, like
I am a woman of more indulgence than restraint, of more spontaneous than well-thought through action.
But thank goodness, I am not always like that.
At many other times, I am also sensible, practical, realistic and use my common sense (though I often wish I'm more practical than what I am now).
In my life, I've done daring, stupid things in the name of love. And though they've caused me great trepidation and sometimes embarassment, in hindsight, I wouldn't want to do it any other way.
If not, how would I have learned to accept rejection gracefully? Or how would I have discovered that 'thumping heart' feeling you get when you express yourself looking right into his eyes? And how would I have steeled myself to make the first move to secure the guy that I think is the right one for me?
Life is about taking risks. Risks made in the name of love can be extremely stupid and hurt you deeply. But I think it is worth it.
To quote an old cliche: 'It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'
It rings true for me, does it for you?
--------------
Disclaimer: I DO NOT support extra-marital affairs, but I am all for going the extra mile for the right person in the name of love.
P/s: A piece of advice - once you have loved and lost, it is better to let go and look back with a smile. Your lover may have hurt you with the departure, but imagine if you had never got to experience the love you shared, the warmth and the cloud 9 feeling at that point in your life. Wasn't it wonderful while it lasted? Forgive, and move on... You will enjoy life much better without the dark shadow of that thorn embedded in your heart. Be thankful that he/she who left you had the realisation early, rather than later, when you could be stuck with a home mortgage and 2 kids.
I just came back from a movie with two of my best friends -- EC and SC.
EC's an old schoolmate I've known for over 10 years. He likes to take down the pegs on my shoulders and deflate my ego in his free time. Yet he is the best guy friend I ever knew - his sound advice, broad shoulders (for me to cry on) and moral support have lifted me out of the depths of depression more times than I can count.
SC is my 'elder sister' (tai ka jeh) from a previous company; we've hit it off since the first few months I worked there and shared so much joys & pains of our work there, our loves & heartbreaks and friendships with our colleagues-turned-excolleagues-turned-friends. It's amazing to see how strong bonds form out of undergoing some difficult times and how it bring us closer and dearer to one another.
By a stroke of good timing and lucky coincidence, two of my best friends in the world had the opportunity to meet each other. I'm happy that they did :)
But... I digress...
EC's girlfriend had 2 extra free tickets to the Charity Premiere for the movie 'April Snow' on Saturday, 22nd night and I happened to call him at the right time. It's a Korean movie starring Bae Yong Joon (of 'Winter Sonata' fame) and Son Ye Jin.
In a nutshell, the movie is about a man & a woman whose spouses were having an affair together and got involved in a car crash. The man & woman met at the hospital as strangers, to take care of their unconscious spouses. From the heartbreaking truth of their spouses having the extra-marital affair, the two of them become friends, and eventually became lovers themselves.
The movie got me thinking ~ how many times have we done things that make us happy (like in the case of the movie, starting that affair though they know they themselves or others will get hurt by it eventually) vs doing things that are right and noble (e.g. keeping to their marriage vows though their partners have done them wrong).
I have to admit, I've done the former much much more than the latter, like
Saying hurtful/sarcastic things to the ones I love because it makes me feel good at that time or because I refuse to let down my ego, but regretting it ever so much after that
vs
Biting my tongue becuase I know they are right and they scold/reprimand me
vs
Biting my tongue becuase I know they are right and they scold/reprimand me
because they love me.
Staying up till 4am to read a good book/watch a wonderful movie though I end up
yawning more than 20 times at work the next day
vs
Being a good girl and sleeping early so I can go to work fresh (and on time!).
Indulging $$$ in some luxuries such as pretty clothes or a delicious meal
vs
Saving it up for something more worthwhile in the big big future I dream of.
I am a woman of more indulgence than restraint, of more spontaneous than well-thought through action.
But thank goodness, I am not always like that.
At many other times, I am also sensible, practical, realistic and use my common sense (though I often wish I'm more practical than what I am now).
In my life, I've done daring, stupid things in the name of love. And though they've caused me great trepidation and sometimes embarassment, in hindsight, I wouldn't want to do it any other way.
If not, how would I have learned to accept rejection gracefully? Or how would I have discovered that 'thumping heart' feeling you get when you express yourself looking right into his eyes? And how would I have steeled myself to make the first move to secure the guy that I think is the right one for me?
Life is about taking risks. Risks made in the name of love can be extremely stupid and hurt you deeply. But I think it is worth it.
To quote an old cliche: 'It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'
It rings true for me, does it for you?
--------------
Disclaimer: I DO NOT support extra-marital affairs, but I am all for going the extra mile for the right person in the name of love.
P/s: A piece of advice - once you have loved and lost, it is better to let go and look back with a smile. Your lover may have hurt you with the departure, but imagine if you had never got to experience the love you shared, the warmth and the cloud 9 feeling at that point in your life. Wasn't it wonderful while it lasted? Forgive, and move on... You will enjoy life much better without the dark shadow of that thorn embedded in your heart. Be thankful that he/she who left you had the realisation early, rather than later, when you could be stuck with a home mortgage and 2 kids.
posted by Ai Jou Chuah at
1:35 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home