Resolutions

I have just finished a 5-week course on Meditative Life in Action: A Dialogue conducted by Bro Hor Tuck Loon every Saturday, 3pm @ SJBA. For this dialogue course, I've had to set aside my responsibilities or leave early from other activities like helping to decorate the vihara for Mooncake Festival (17/9), the Buddhist Business Network Members Gathering (24/9) a relaxing lunch with MS at Bangsar (1/10), lunch with colleagues after our retreat at Gohtong Jaya (7/10). And I must say I'm proud not to have missed a single session.

Although... I had to miss the 6th session (follow-up movie-viewing + discussion session) as Des & I plus 2 other friends drove to Penang to attend Keat's wedding.

The past 6 months have truly been very hectic and tiring for me; I had 12-13 hour workdays and stress from work (to chase on sales + planning for the postgrad event), and at the same time I tried to keep up with all the responsibilities and social obligations that I chose to commit to.

Of course, I'm still human, and along the way, I've suffered from mild depression, had thoughts of losing hope/quitting, trashed things out with friends and family and lashed out at my darling boyfriend when I'm in the darkest of moods. And yet, I survived through it all. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I did. Family & friends' support made a huge difference, and regular visits to the temple kept me s-a-n-e (and remain kind to others).

All in all, I guess it was a really good learning experience for me. They say that you can't grow if you don't have any challenges in life. I used to hate obstacles and difficult times - I always wondered why I couldn't have it easy like *some* people - they were born beautiful/rich/charming/confident/talented and things just happened easier in their lives compared to mine.

Then one day it dawned upon me that Life is NOT Fair. Not in the bitter sense of the phrase, but in the positive sense.

If we had no challenges in life, then how could life would never be as exciting & interesting as it is now -- we never know where the bend in the road leads us to.

If we were all born equal and the same, then we won't have the opportunity to have so many friends and colleagues (or even people on the street) who add so much colour into our life.

If we all had our dreams come true all the time, then we'll never be able to appreciate the good things that happen to us and feel the exhilaration and happiness after getting a 5-figure sales commission after a year's effort/running a 10km marathon/wrapping up a mega-project/paying the downpayment for our first house after a long spell of saving up hard for it.

These are all the results of great effort, dedication, discipline, a little bit of luck and sometimes sacrifice too.

I know 31 December 2005 is still about 2 more months away. But I feel like I've just closed a chapter in my life with the postgrad project executed with great success & attention from all quarters. And now I am ready to start a new chapter.

I decided to make some resolutions for the year end till 2006. Of course, I foresee that I may modify it due to change in time and priorities, but here they are for as long as I choose to stick to them. (Hopefully I can say I've crossed it out because I've achieved them).

(In no particular order) I resolve to:

1. Practise more focus & discipline during work hours so I can hit my target faster & leave office earlier in 2006
2. Lose 5kg by 31 Jan 2006
3. Improve my financial situation with prudent spending & appropriate investments
4. Be more loving and caring towards my darling Desmond
5. Meditate at least 3 times a week and go for a 1-week retreat at least once a year
6. Cultivate loving-kindness towards everyone in my life, even the tea lady
7. Practise a healthier lifestyle - exercise more regularly and avoid oily & junk food
8. Keep in touch with close friends more often via one-on-one meetings, gatherings, messenger, email or phone
9. Slow down a little in my life - take more time out for myself to stop & smell the roses and not tire myself with too much unnecessary social/work commitments
10. Start work on my action plan for results to be seen 5 years from now (2011)

If you see me breaking my resolutions or giving myself excuses not to keep them, please give me a strong REMINDER yea!

AJ over & out...