"Blogging will kill you!"

This is not the headlines of any newspaper article I've read recently. It's what 2 people who are closest to me have been warning me since they witnessed the birth of my blog. Of course, since one of them happens to be my brother who stays in the same house as I, perhaps there is an ounce of truth in that...

Let me explain.

I started this blog because I like to pen my thoughts. I used to write pages and pages in my diary and I have collected 5 whole books of my own ramblings - celebrations and joys, woes and blues. At other times, I can talk (and whine) incessantly to whomever would listen - of late Des has become my most frequent victim (sorry darling!).

But... I can't seem to blog as naturally as my friends do. I just can't understand how they find the time to post something a few times a week, and long & interesting articles they are too! Perhaps, unlike me, they are able to access the internet regularly, and have the time to sit for at least a few mins a day blogging.

Me? I'm just an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist. You won't believe how many teeny weeny details that I've changed about this blog since I started it. Some of those changes may not even be visible to the naked eye! (Ok, I'm exaggerating). And that's the reason why I haven't been posting any articles lately - 'cause I've been busy adding a link here, a comma there and changing the colour somewhere...

Of course, the second reason is that I am extremely super-busy. Ask anyone who knows me well enough and they'll tell you.

On top of working on average 10 hours daily, at the current moment I also have the following weekly activities:

• gym (twice a week)
• date my darling (2-3 times a week)
• have dinner with his parents
• meet with the committee of the fellowship group from temple
• go to the temple for youth activities every Friday
• meet up a best friend on a weeknight, AND
• meet up with other close friends in gatherings on weeknights or weekends

That, my friend, is more or less what I do with the weeknights and weekends in a typical week!

I'm t-i-r-e-d just listing all of them down.

But I digress. Back to why I was told that "blogging will kill me". It's because with my full and packed schedules each week (and sometimes I also work late till 9 or 10pm), I still try to:

• Go online to clear my mailbox (it is hell when you are a member of 6 Yahoo! groups)
• Stay in touch with other friends via sms/email
• Blog or post up some photos
• Read the latest novel that I'm hooked to
• Read the newspapers to catch the headlines and any other stories that interest me
• Watch some Astro
• Wash my clothes once a week

Thus it is not surprising that I end up sleeping at 4 or 5am in the morning on some workdays. Of late, I have been turning up at work with bleary eyes, dark circles, a husky voice and a slower-than-usual brain speed more often than usual.

That is why blogging will eventually "kill" me. Or rather, I would think it is the "I-am-so-tired-but-let's-just-do-this-one-last-thing-before-I-sleep" trait of mine that's causing me to lose all this sleep and eventually one day drop dead at the road side from fatigue and lack of decent food and rest and pushing myself too hard!

~ ~ ~

Don't mind me.

I'm just rambling... as usual.

Sometimes I feel that I just need to rediscover that button in me somewhere that reads 'Slow Down' and take things one step at a time, rather than accomplishing 101 things at once. Other times I think that working with a work-obsessive colleague with high expectations has me going down the wrong end of the road, rather than making me feel more motivated.

So I conclude by saying this to myself - yes, I know one of your mottos is 'Live like there is no tomorrow', but if you don't sleep well or nourish yourself properly and occassionally spend some quality time with your family, there may not BE a tomorrow to live for. Understand, girl?

I am very sure mum will be happy to see me home earlier and more often. Lately she's been nagging about my late nights at the office and late (or shall I say, early!) bedtimes.

Tonight will be the last night I stay in the office till 9.30pm to check mail/blog/post photos/surf the net/read others' blog. Guess I will have to opt for other ways of 'releasing stress' and entertaining myself - like go for a good movie, read a good book from start to end or even taking a nap. Gosh, I have forgotten how it feels to have long, glorious, fulfilling nap.

Cheerios and wish me luck in the 'new' start in my life!